I feel Evil

I feel so evil,
Showering upon you the negativity of my incompetence,
Poised in manner,
And utterly envious at heart,
I’m falling apart,
I’m falling apart,
I try to be ignorant of the truth,
Whereas I thrust down my sorrows,
To make you happy; and to willingly hand you the crown of my diseased soul,
Because now I’m in demise,
And do nothing more than fantasize,
Of what could have been;
If I was seen as an individual,
Attractive and beautiful,
Talented and confident,
Open than reserved,
Happy than self-destructive,
Or taken seriously,
To be told the truth to,
Had more friends than a few,
This heart ache would be bearable…
But now, I’m merely seen as your second handed replicate,
Worn out; ripped through,
Repulsive compared to you,
ALWAYS compared to you,
This list is never ending…
I’m surprised by your cluelessness,
To you; we have an unbreakable bond,
Little did you know that your hurt is always mended,
Often carried through my pain…
I mean, face it;
People demolish my hopes; to make up yours,
Break my bones, to cure your sores,
And in the end,
I’m all alone,
I’m all alone…
Torn apart heart and soul…